fight
of the flesh
12/16/99
The world of flesh
is a world of fighting.
We cannot be embodied
and not be in conflict.
We cannot be human
and not be engaged in some battle.
Spirit can exist totally centered
but humans must exist off balance
in a web of tensions,
pushed and pulled
pushing and pulling
to get what they need
to do what they must
to create their own life
to create their own world.
a story in Salon
says that those with sickle cell anemia
who don't fight
don't get what they need to survive.
they may fight from love
from a pure and wholesome place
but they must fight for their own lives.
we grow up and learn the unconscious fight
we feel beaten up, like we need peace
we follow spirit to a still place and hear the voice inside
we become conscious
and then we learn to fight again
this time consciously and with spirit.
this facing conflict after we have faced
peace
is the hardest thing we can do
because it requires losing the balance
we have worked so hard to attain
but losing balance is the only way to move
to create a path in flesh.
it's right to search for peace and balance.
it's right, too, to be fighting and unbalanced
for we are spirit and flesh
and the fight of the flesh
gives us much to learn about spirit
as well as making a world we can hand to our children.
any balance that doesn't include fighting
is only temporary
the question is
what do you fight for?
for stuff to fill you up or for things to get better
for social motion or for real change
for lofty ideals or for real common ground
for pies in the sky or for human compassion
for escape or for accountability?
for status quo or for growth?
I feel the rage simmering under my skin
a rage at ignorance and unconsidered choices
and I feel off balance,
wondering why I want to fight
my rage comes out with a sharp tongue
full of humor and insight
that people don't want to hear
because they are in their own fights
and I don't honor their goals.
their goals may be feel permission to be a
victim
to grab what they feel they deserve
to consider only themselves
to be self centered and without compassion.
they don't want to be forced to see
what they cannot yet deal with
what they think is off the point
so focused are they on the fight that consumes them
the fight against idiots who get in their way
the fight to make a buck at the expense of others
the fight to be able to be sloppy
and never get called on it.
it's those unconscious fights
the fight to stay small
the fight to create drama
the fight to fill up life with crap
that keep us down
the jerry springer show is one window to
those fights
we watch the passion flow
feel our blood boil, our laughter pour
and feel smug because we aren't as dumb as them
stupid fighting over things that don't matter
yet what matters to us?
where are we willing to fight?
how do we engage our own rage and passion
to use them for creation
to respect them in the world?
too many "spiritual" people
look for only peace and not momentum
look for only stasis and not movement
look for only escape and not engagement
look for only separation into cloisters and not connection with a
world
and not connection with themselves
and not connection with their human flesh
the passions of humans are great
and have done great things
from soaring cathedrals to space exploration
from breathtaking art to awesome cities
from potent exploration to structures of charity & comfort
all of these things took a fight
to make them present in the world
to make them a present to our children and our children's
children.
we need to not only honor and cherish
balance
but also to honor and cherish fighting
the balance of the spirit
the fight of the flesh
the peace of reflection
the battle of creation
every human fights
in their own special ways
the challenge is what we fight for
connection or separation
isolation or love.
until we both find balance
and then lose it again,
this time deliberately and consciously
its hard to support others in their fight
because our fight gets in the way
even if it is the fight to eliminate fighting.
What kind of conflict do you like?
Where will you jump in and fight the good fight --
body, heart, mind or spirit?
If you say you don't like conflict at all,
then you have stopped growing,
because it is only through engaging differences
to find common ground or to triumph
that we become new and invigorated.
Pick your battles,
but always have some
place you embrace conflict
fight of christmas
12/19/99
the gift of christmas
is the gift of conscious fighting
the remembrance
there is something bigger we fight for
loving one another and
peace between men
is something worthy of having a ritual time
to remember
to fight for peace
may seem an oxymoron
but we do fight
when we don't just ignore the conflict between us
but we open into that conflict
with open hearts we engage our differences
and find common ground
in dark days of winter.
the everyday fight
to get what we want
at Christmas, it
turns into a special fight
to get what others want
to let the needs and wants and feelings
of the others we share the dark night with
fill our minds and hearts
the gifts of understanding
we give at christmas
gifts where we consider others
tasked with walking in their shoes enough
to know what they would like to receive
and giving it to them
building bridges though considered gifts
focused on another
crossing those bridges by accepting those gifts
and the other person's heart with them
this is the fight of christmas
to create a space
where peace on earth can reign
though consideration and open engagement of others
though expressions of love,
even for those with whom we are in conflict
the fight of christmas
is to be the host
open and facilitating
warm and welcoming
giving and considerate
the fight of christmas
is to be the guest
grateful and gracious
respectful and honoring
relaxed and open
all at the same time.
(and maybe,
just maybe
the fights of families at christmas
come from those who feel
not that the gift was bad
but that they have never gotten the gift of being understood
or never gotten the gift of feeling safe enough to open and
receive gifts
rather having to stay defended an angry
and hurt)
Kellie Everts: The Mystical Death & Marriage
Kellie Everts: The Church Of God Within