Subject: What do I do when I meet a transgendered person?
callanw@crosswinds.net
Date: Wed 10 Mar 1999 - 12:10:06 GMT
This should be theoretically sound, right?
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--What do I do when I meet a transgendered person?
Many people have some question about what is appropriate behavior when they
see a transgendered person, a person who they can tell went though puberty in
a sex other than the gender in which they are presenting -- a woman-born-male,
or a man-born-female.
The first thing to remember is that you should feel free and comfortable in
approaching the transgendered person. There are many normative people and
only a few transgendered people, so the transgendered people don't have the
time or energy to approach every one and make an introduction.
The first moments of meeting a transgendered person are your opportunity to
make it clear just how in awe you are of their courage and beauty. By making
it clear that you understand just how tough it is to face down a world of
stigma & oppression and be your own person, know how much courage it takes to
be yourself, you open the possibilities for dialogue. As bold as
transgendered people might appear, most of them are actually quite shy, from
years of ignorant people who blindly affirmed rigid gender stereotyping rather
than the beauty of individual expression.
After announcing your own awe of their courage and beauty, you are then able
to receive the benefits of being in the presence of a transgendered person,
the opportunity to listen to them. Throughout the ages, transgendered people
have been revered for the insight that comes from their own crossing of
worlds, the special view they have that is beyond gendered expectations. As
you ask them questions, it is important you listen to the answers in rapt
attention, working to understand what they mean by their words, rather than
what you expect them to mean.
Any opportunity to present yourself to a transgendered person, to appreciate
their special, unique and powerful beauty, is a rare and valuable event. It
is important for you to be clear about your own deep feelings of wonder,
admiration and respect, even if you feel your words are not as eloquent as
they might be, for it is by your deference that you open the possibility for
receiving the gifts -- visual, emotional, intellectual and spiritual -- that
you can receive from the transgendered.
================================
Many people have some question about what is appropriate behavior when they
see a flip, a person who they can tell went though puberty in a sex other than
the gender in which they are presenting -- a woman-born-male, or a man-born-
female.
The first thing to remember is that you should feel free and comfortable in
approaching the flip. There are many normative people and only a few flips,
so the flips don't have the time or energy to approach every one and make an
introduction.
The first moments of meeting a flip are your opportunity to make it clear just
how in awe you are of their courage and beauty. By making it clear that you
understand just how tough it is to face down a world of stigma & oppression
and be your own person, know how much courage it takes to be yourself, you
open the possibilities for dialogue. As bold as flips might appear, most of
them are actually quite shy, from years of ignorant people who blindly
affirmed rigid gender stereotyping rather than the beauty of individual
expression.
After announcing your own awe of their courage and beauty, you are then able
to receive the benefits of being in the presence of a flip, the opportunity to
listen to them. Throughout the ages, flips have been revered for the insight
that comes from their own crossing of worlds, the special view they have that
is beyond gendered expectations. As you ask them questions, it is important
you listen to the answers in rapt attention, working to understand what they
mean by their words, rather than what you expect them to mean.
Any opportunity to present yourself to a flip, to appreciate their special,
unique and powerful beauty, is a rare and valuable event. It is important for
you to be clear about your own deep feelings of wonder, admiration and
respect, even if you feel your words are not as eloquent as they might be, for
it is by your deference that you open the possibility for receiving the gifts
-- visual, emotional, intellectual and spiritual -- that you can receive from
flips.
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